Chronicles of an Empty Nester | The Unwilling Band-Wagoner

No!

Absolutely not!

Whyyyyyy????????

I didn't sign up for this. According to my job description, I was supposed to be needed, ALWAYS! I swear I am heading into this midlife kicking and screaming because If I am not a Mommy first, then who am I really? As soon as I find out, I'll be sure to let you all know, but for now, I feel like I am in a perpetual state of limbo. It's funny when I think about it because when my kids were little, I dreamed about the day that they would be able to take care of themselves, and I would finally be able to do what I want. Now that the time has come, I have no idea what to do with myself.


By the way, hi, my name is Shawn, and this will probably be the longest post just so we can get to know each other, well, so that you can get to know me a little more.


I grew up on the Island of Maui but ended up on Oahu during my senior year of high school. My husband and I met in school, but It wasn't love at first sight at all. In fact, being the angel that I was (HA!) I thought he was too much of a player. He was always getting into trouble for one thing or another. He used to flirt with me in his own way, and I would try my best to ignore him, but he hooked me with his beautiful smile (dimples included) and his nice ASS! Oh, and he could sing. In fact, I remember he sang "Always and Forever" to me after going out for about two weeks, and I was so embarrassed because no one has ever serenaded me like that in my whole life. Needless to say, we became very young parents shortly after that.


I graduated from high school almost five months pregnant with my oldest son, Kainoa. A few years later, I found out I was pregnant with my one and only baby girl, Tiare, right after turning 21. Finally, as we were making the big move from Hawaii to Las Vegas, I was surprised to find out I would be having another little one, my youngest son, Lopaka, right smack dab in the middle of the chaos that was happening all around us. I was the oldest of five kids, so having kids of my own seemed like second nature to me, but because I was always responsible for children, whether they were mine or not, I think I developed and fell into a "safe" way of life.


When I say "Safe," what I mean is a low risk, kill all hopes and dreams approach because now, I have a husband and kids to take care of. My husband was always and still is a great provider. With that being said, we invested a lot of time and money into his trade. With every new skill he went to school for, the money got better and better. He was in the commercial shipping industry, and it took him all over the world and away from home more than he would have wanted, but it was always understood that we would make those sacrifices now so that we could reap the rewards later. With him being gone three to six months out of the year, I still held down a full-time job on top of being "mother of the year" (just kidding, but that's what it felt like). I never had time for me. I never continued my education, I never got to travel the world, and I never got to be that badass lawyer or the smoking hot model that I always wanted to be. Instead, I found a job in retail, and that is where I stayed. My philosophy was to find a job, work hard, move up as much as you can, and for the love of all that is good, DON'T EVER QUIT!


I only really had two main jobs my whole adult life and gave up most of my youth to the one I have now for the last twenty years. I try not to think about how many years I have been with my current company because it only reminds me of the supermodel I will never be as I am way too old to strut down that catwalk with those young beautiful bitches. I did pretty well, considering, and I worked my way up like I was supposed to. Up until recently, I minded my Ps and Qs, and I did what I was told even though I may not have agreed. Now, I want to be FREE!!! Free to set my own schedule, free to create my own rules, free to blaze the trail and make money how I see fit, free to follow my dreams.


Speaking of dreams, If there is one thing that I would love to do but never had a chance, it would be to travel the world. While I know that day will come soon, I have to do the next best thing....become a TRAVEL AGENT. Leaping into this industry has been surprisingly easy for me, but don't get me wrong, I will be keeping my day job until the time is right to give it my all. In the meantime, there is a plethora of learning to do. There are many perks to becoming a travel agent, and one of them is called FAM Trips. FAM Trip stands for “familiarization trip,” and it is a trip exclusively for travel agents (and sometimes their guests!) provided by suppliers or travel operators. These trips are provided as a way for agents to gain an understanding of the benefits of different trips that they can sell to their clients. Talk about a WORKATION!


I recently went on one of these infamous FAM trips, and let me tell you; it was one of the best and scariest times I ever had in my life. Check back for my blog on that adventure coming real soon.


Welp, I think this is where I will be ending my introduction. I am looking forward to filling my newly acquired time with these lovely blog posts. Until next time....A-L-O-H-A